By Steve Moyer
Let me preface by saying the Stones don’t drive me crazy. I like them a lot and respect them even more, but I don’t know the entire catalog, nor have I ever seen them live. And, at this point, I probably never will. Not all that interested in watching a bunch of grandpas who are two miles away from me from a giant TV screen. I’d go if someone invited me for free.
#1 – 5 points – Rocks Off – Doesn’t get any more rock ‘n’ roll lyrically than “The sunshine bores the daylights out of me.”
#2 – 5 points – Gimme Shelter – Makes one feel bad like a rock song should. Kick ass Hellacopters cover. Nothing wrong with the Stones version either.
#3 – 5 points – Sympathy For The Devil – Lovely buildup song. Lovely Bryan Ferry cover.
#4 – 4 points – Dead Flowers – Three open chords – D A G. Just like all the best music. Next time you’re at Guitar Center and all the annoying little kiddies are wonking away, grab the most expensive Martin acoustic and let ‘er rip. Sing loud.
#5 – 3 points – Rip This Joint – Had to double-check that this was even a Stones-written tune. Sounds like it could be from some moldy old blues guy. Boogie woogie rock ‘n’ roll.
#6 – 2 points – Brown Sugar – The guitar’s gotta be alternately tuned to play this correctly and that gives it extra points (but only one). It’s cooler to say “Exile” is your favorite, but I’ll admit, mine’s “Sticky Fingers.” Take note that I’m with the masses on this one.
#7 – 2 points – Bitch – Arranged, played and sang this in a throw-together band for a festival at my church years ago, the only time I’ve ever worked with a horn section (part of the church orchestra). No one noticed the words.
#8 – 2 points – Shattered – What a weird little song, 70 percent studio production. Every live version I’ve ever heard of this is horrible.
#9 – 1 point – Hang Fire – Sort of a throwaway song from a throwaway album, but I always liked it, in a silly “perfect pop song” kind of way. Watched the “official” video as a refresher and Keith Richards still looks mostly human at this point.
#10 – 1 point – You Can’t Always Get What You Want – Here in great part because I would always sing this to my young kids when they were upset about not getting something they desired. Which made them cry more.